Who's That Girl?

What you say or even how you say it can have such an impact on someone. Have you ever had someone compliment you on a day maybe when you didn’t feel so great, and it instantly boosted your mood? What about when a coworker or your boss tells you what an amazing job you did on a project and how that simple comment can give you a push or the drive to work harder because you felt appreciated. How about when you are speaking with a friend who might be feeling down and out but you remind them of all the incredible things about themselves and you can hear how their tone and outlook suddenly changes. These are all examples of wonderful and positive words being shared between people that result in a positive effect.

Other than the positive words, what about the words that are negative and hurtful?  The words that someone might say out of anger, frustration or even in a fit of rage.  The words that might be said regardless of whether they are true or not, that stick with you and cut deep.  The words that might make a person saying them feel good in that moment but could very well make them feel terrible or regretful afterwards. I’m sure we’ve all either had those hurtful words said to us or perhaps even been the person saying them and either way it doesn’t feel good at all.

Some people may think words are insignificant, but they really are powerful.  Once they are said and out you can’t take it back.  I think of times my grandmother or mother would say “be careful what you say because you can’t change it afterwards” and it is so true.  Sure, you can apologize or try to correct what was originally said, but the damage is already done.  I always try to choose my words wisely, think carefully and even take a moment before responding.  I am not perfect, and I know over the years beginning from those tough teenage years I said things that could be hurtful, but I truly feel that as I’ve continued growing, I have become more aware and cognizant of what I am saying to people. I am more cautious of how the words I am saying could be taken which also reflects how I interact and converse with others.  Maybe it’s because I have had hurtful words said to me whether intentionally or not and I wouldn’t want someone else to feel that same sting left behind.  Perhaps it’s that as you become an adult you realize the importance and significance in how you speak to another human being. 

It can be hard some days when feeling stressed or overwhelmed to say things with a little more compassion but it’s important.  Even if you are trying to give someone advice or trying to prove your point you need to be aware of what you are saying to them.  Yes, the saying “the truth hurts” is accurate but you can deliver your advice, suggestion or information in a way that can take other’s feelings into consideration as well.  You wouldn’t want that other person to feel as if they don’t have your support.  Sometimes a person might just need encouragement instead of a disciplinary scolding or sometimes saying nothing at all can speak volumes.  Speak from a place of love and care.  If you are frustrated and feeling unheard, try to explain your needs as that other person might not realize what you are asking for.  Remember that people can have a difference in opinion too so be respectful of that.

My ask to everyone is that even in those harder moments when you are frustrated or angry whether it be with someone for something specific or even if you are just frustrated with yourself, to try and be as soft as possible. It can be hard in the heat of the moment but once you speak those words they can never be taken back. You can be forgiven but some things can’t be forgotten. Be firm if you need to be but not hateful or hurtful. Be strong in the delivery but not mean or nasty. You can make a point very clear to a person without being cutthroat so take the higher road and be the better person. Share positive words with others as frequently as possible and if you love someone, tell them, and tell them daily because those moments of sharing those words shouldn’t be taken for granted. And lastly spread love, hope and positivity always.

LM