Who's That Girl?

Trying love and relationships again after losing your spouse can feel terrifying. The fears are real—what if it doesn’t work out? What if the families and children don’t blend? What if opening your heart and being vulnerable again only leads to another heartbreak? And perhaps the deepest fear of all: what if you lose this new person you’ve grown to love, just as you’ve already lost before?  These fears are not signs of weakness, but rather of how deeply you’ve loved and how much you value life and connection.

“To love and be loved by a widow is a love most only dream of; it’s a love that understands the depth of loss and the strength it takes to open your heart again.” 

Life runs its course on its own terms, and nothing we do can stop that. As a widow, I carry that truth with me every single day, and it colours how I see everything moving forward. Petty things don’t matter anymore. It’s not worth your precious and valuable time or energy. Yet one of the unexpected gifts of this new relationship is that, with a fellow widower, I don’t have to explain my fears or feelings—he already knows. He carries many of the same ones. Others may see how I’ve changed, but only he truly understands the parts of me reshaped by loss. And in that understanding, there’s a beautiful gift: he sees me, all of me.  He can sense the slightest shift in a simple message. He can feel my energy change before I’ve spoken a word. He reads me like a book—and with that gift, he responds with warmth, patience, and love that feels nothing short of inspiring. He is my safe space.

“In the shared space of grief, two souls can find a connection that transcends loss, a love built on empathy and understanding.” 

Coming back from a little getaway together was jarring. The return to real life—parenting, responsibilities, noise—it all feels louder after the quiet joy of just being. We lived fully in those moments away, and in doing so, we were reminded again just how precious they are. We talked, we laughed, we rested, we were spoiled and we were able to just be and yes, that makes the fear of losing them creep back in too.

Neither of us knows what tomorrow will bring—and truthfully, we don’t want to. What we do know is now. And in this moment, we are choosing love, joy, and presence. This second chance is our adventure, our story—and it’s one we’re living with all our hearts.

“Sometimes, the greatest love story begins with the most painful ending; finding a partner who understands the echoes of a lost love is a gift beyond measure.” 

At the end of the day, love after loss is not about replacing what was lost—it’s about honoring it by allowing your heart to open again. It’s about choosing courage over fear, presence over worry, and gratitude over doubt.  This rare love has the thread that binds us as widow and widower. We have both stood in the silence of loss, we have both carried the weight of grief, and we have both learned how fragile and short life can be. In each other, we find a language unspoken yet so deeply understood – a knowing that runs beneath every glance, every touch, every moment. Ours is a bond born from sorrow, yet transformed into something tender, resilient, and sacred. 

Like the lotus, we have risen from the depths of loss—carrying the past within us, yet blooming into something new, radiant, and alive. It is proof that even after the darkest storms, love can rise again—softer, wiser, and more beautiful than before.

 xo LM