Who's That Girl?

We all have the opportunity to grow. We all have the opportunity to evolve. Some of us begin that journey earlier in life, and some much later. Some people need to experience certain things to truly evaluate their lives and surroundings, while others come to their realizations through deep and intentional work on themselves.

For me, it came after reaching what many would call rock bottom.

That very moment when I felt like I had almost nothing and no one. I lost my partner, I lost friendships, I was in a miserable job, and ultimately I felt completely and utterly alone. My entire world felt broken. And when your world breaks like that, you are forced to look at yourself and your life in ways you never have before. If you are willing—and strong enough—you can make changes and come out of it even better than you were before.

There are parts of the old LM that could have been better.

She was a reflection of what life was putting her through at the time. Her time, energy, and mental capacity were stretched to the absolute limit, and she was doing the best she could with what she had. But even then, there were things she could have handled differently. She didn’t always know how to regulate her emotions. She lived in a constant state of fight or flight. She fought hard for many things, but when it came to expressing how she felt, she often pushed people away instead.

Regardless of whether my feelings were warranted or not, or whether certain relationships had simply run their course, I should have been more transparent and honest—not only with others, but with myself.

What many people didn’t see was how emotionally and mentally drained I truly was. My mind couldn’t process or regulate anything anymore, so pushing people away felt easier than trying to explain what I was going through. I did try with some people. I had the tough conversations. I tried to make them understand. But sometimes I was met with silence or misunderstanding, and eventually I just disengaged. That became the way of coping.

And if I’m being completely honest, there are still moments where I do that. But I’m learning. And breaking old habits takes time.

What matters is that I’ve started taking small steps to correct those behaviors and continue growing forward. There is no shame in saying, I’m sorry for the times I was hurtful, ignorant, or acted in ways I’m not proud of. Growth requires accountability, and accountability requires humility.

Now, don’t get me wrong—there are still people and situations that are better left in the past. And that is not said with malice or bitterness. Some are left in the past because the hurt was too deep. Some are left because time simply ran its course. And some people were meant to be in our lives for a reason or a season, just as the saying goes.

Here is something we all need to be reminded of:

Being the prettiest, the smartest, or the wealthiest does not make you a better person than anyone else—especially if kindness, compassion, and authenticity are missing. You can read the Bible and go to church every day, but if your life is filled with hatred, judgment, or speaking ill of others, then you are missing the entire point of what you are being taught.

Actions will always speak louder than words.

Be the kind of person you would be proud of.

Be the person whose name comes up in conversation and people say, “She has such a kind and giving soul.”

That should be the legacy.

That is how a life should be lived.

Be kind. Be real. Be accountable.

That is the kind of life that truly matters.

Some people may question how I move forward or who I choose to keep in my circle, but I’ve learned that you cannot live your life trying to meet everyone else’s expectations — you have to live it in a way that feels right for you. This is my life, and I am finally learning to live it on my own terms and evolving in beautiful, healthy and happy ways. 

“From ashes of survival, she rose into the art of her own becoming.”

xo LM