Who's That Girl?

Being a parent is challenging, exciting, rewarding and exhausting.  There are a million more ways to describe being a parent but those are just a few of the ones at top of mind currently. 

Recently I had the chance to hold a newborn baby again.  A beautiful little boy with the sweetest little face.  It brought back so many memories and emotions of when Mila was born and how tiny she once was.  It reminded me of all those initial fears you have as a first-time parent and how much love you can feel in an instant for this little miracle of life that you are now responsible for.  It also made me reflect on how quickly time flies as here I was holding this newborn in my arms and remembering all those thoughts and feelings that felt like they had just happened, when in fact my almost 11-year-old now was sitting right beside me.  How is it that she is turning 11 already? Although things were scary and tough when Mila was a newborn and for a few years following that, I still miss those moments of her being so little and wish I would have had the opportunity to experience that a second time but am still eternally grateful I experienced it at least once.

11 years old and yet some days it feels like Mila is already a full-blown teenager.  Pushing the limits, testing my patience, wanting to be an adult already yet in the same breath at the end of the night she still wants to be snuggled and tucked in to bed asking me to sing Three Little Birds to her like I have done since she was in my tummy.  I was very fortunate that I never really had to exercise my tough mom muscles because her dad was always the disciplinarian in our home.  He was the tough one that would enforce the rules and I got to be the mediator, nurturer, peacekeeping mom.  Now, I have had to take on both roles and it has been somewhat of a challenge.  Although I can be a tough cookie when needed, I find it extremely hard to lay down the law with Mila and even when I do I feel as though it doesn’t have the same effect on her.  As a child I remember always being afraid to disappoint my mom and yet I feel like some kids today don’t have that same fear.  They are very strong willed and eager to stand their ground which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  I always say that it is a great quality to have because I know she won’t take any crap from people when she is an adult but as a parent it is super difficult to manage when trying to raise your child especially when you just want them to be a good human. 

Needless to say, it has been a challenge some days and I have needed to call in the big guns (good old mom) to help talk me through some of the tougher moments and to reassure me that I am not an epic failure as a parent.  She reminds me of how I am doing the very best I can, every day, and doing it all from a place of love.  She reminds me that all parents struggle at some point with their kids but that eventually it will change.  She reminds me that it’s ok to have all the feelings I am feeling and same goes for Mila, but together we will be ok.  She reminds me that I too was once a tough cookie kid who wasn’t easy at times but look at us now.  With all those reminders it gives me the boost I need to keep at it.  She allows me to have my moment of tears, frustration and venting and then gives me the little pep talk I need to shake it off.  And with each of those talks I am very aware of how fortunate I am to have an incredible mom and that God willing one day down the road I too will be having these same talks with my girl when she is an adult.  You really do become friends and that is a beautiful thing to look forward to.

So, to any other parent reading this that is going through something similar at the moment with your pre-teen, teenager or young adult – I see you, I feel you and just know this too shall pass. 

LM