Who's That Girl?

1 year has come and gone. 
1 year of firsts without you. 

It’s crazy how fast time has gone by.  I feel like most days we are wishing our days away.  There is always something we are planning or looking forward to.  Wishing for the winter to pass so we can have our summer.  Counting down to a trip or event because of excitement.  Or even just simply counting down to the weekend because some weeks are so hard and stressful that you just can’t wait to have those 2 days off.  It is human nature to always be looking ahead – I am guilty of that as well, but in this case, it is a heavy hearted countdown.

They say time heals everything and although I agree to some degree, time doesn’t erase everything. My heart and head have healed and moved on but I think the sting of this day, especially the week leading up to this day will always sit heavy with me. Although I know we will be ok, because we are ok, it still doesn’t make it all ok if that makes any sense at all. This past week has been tough – tougher than I could have imagined as I replay all the last things said or done in the week leading up to today. Now, as we begin the next countdown and tally up the next list of missed days I just want to take a moment to reflect on the last 365.

I want to acknowledge how far we’ve come and how proud I know we are making him.  I want to embrace all the emotions and feelings that come with this day, and I want to send all my prayers his way.  I want people to understand that you can move forward and move on but that some days will still be hard even for years to come.  I want people to know that although he is gone and we are continuing forward, he will never be forgotten. And of course, although some people may still have questions or their own thoughts and conclusions on how or why related to this whole situation, it STILL doesn’t matter – it never will.  A beautiful life is forever gone but will forever remain in our hearts. 

To all of those that have been along this journey with us over the years and even more so over the last 365 days, thank you. To the special people that saw through my half smiles and could hear the hurt in my voice and that allowed me the safe space to cry and talk through my rollercoaster of emotion’s this last week – you are my angels. For those that have been supportive and encouraging of where we are headed, thank you even more. For all the beautiful signs we’ve received from up above, I am eternally grateful. And finally, to all those that may be taking the time today to have a special thought or are saying a prayer for our missing loved one – we appreciate you.

365 days have come and gone, a lifetime more to go.

LM