Who's That Girl?

Five years.

It’s hard to believe that an entire half-decade has passed since the day our world changed forever.

Five years without hearing your voice.

Five years without seeing that smile that could brighten even the darkest days.

Five years since our precious girl last got to hold her daddy’s hand, hear your laugh, or feel the comfort of your hug.

People often say that time heals. In some ways, time teaches you how to keep moving. But there are wounds that never truly heal.

The flashbacks are still very real.

They still haunt me.

They still rip my stomach apart as if I am living that very moment all over again.

In an instant, I’m no longer standing in the present. I’m back there reliving our last walk through the mall, the last time I held your hand, our last drive together, your last words, the heartbreak, the disbelief, and the unimaginable reality that life as we knew it had changed forever.

Five years may have passed, but trauma doesn’t measure time the way calendars do.

There are moments when it feels impossible that so much time has passed. Other days, it feels like it was only yesterday. Grief has a way of bending time. It doesn’t follow anniversaries or milestones. It simply becomes part of who you are.

People often ask if it gets easier. The truth is that life grows around the grief. You learn how to carry it. You learn how to smile again, to laugh again, and to find happiness without ever leaving the love behind.

Our daughter has grown so much over these five years. Every milestone has been bittersweet. I wish you could have been there to watch her soccer team win first place, celebrate her elementary school graduation, see her perform her tap solos, witness her being hoisted up on her cheer teammates shoulders and witness every accomplishment that has made me think, “her daddy would be so proud”.

We continue to share stories, photographs, and all the love that surrounds your memory. She knows the incredible man you were because we will never stop speaking about you.

While life has taken me down a path I never expected, nothing will ever erase the life we shared or the love we built. Love doesn’t replace love. Hearts simply learn to make room for more. The chapter we shared will always be one of the greatest blessings of my life.

Today isn’t only about remembering the day we lost you. It’s about remembering the husband, father, son, brother, and friend you were. It’s about honoring a life that mattered so deeply and a love that continues to shape ours every single day.

Five years without hearing your voice.

Five years without seeing your smile.

Five years our precious girl has had to grow without her daddy by her side.

And yet…

Not a single day has passed without loving you.

Not a single day has passed without missing you.

Not a single day has passed without wishing things had been different.

Five years later, you are still loved beyond words and missed beyond measure.

Always.

xo LM